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Aragornarwen

Elves[]

Elves married for life since usually they believed that two partners were destined for each other by fate.Parents had little influence on their children's marriage and arranged marriages were virtually unknown, however parents could make wishes or demands to the person their child had chosen. Marriage among close family members was not practiced, and first cousins were generally considered too close to marry (Maeglin's love of his first cousin Idril Celebrindal was considered highly unusual), though the marriage of first cousins once removed and second cousins was almost always acceptable. Most elves chose their spouse while they were still young, between their 50th and 100th year, although it wasn't uncommon to marry late.When the two Elves involved decided that they were going to get married they promised to marry each other and gave each other silver rings, they held a betrothal feast, in which they announced their betrothal to the world, and their families met.At least a year passed between betrothal and marriage, to make certain that they really were meant to marry each other,if they decided not to marry in this time, they returned their silver rings publicly, then melted the rings, so no one could ever wear the rings again.At Marriage a feast was held in celebration of the couple's decision, at some point during the feast, the couple joined hands and went to a place where everyone at the feast could see them, then the mother of the bride and the father of the bridegroom came forward and blessed the marriage, the father named Manwë and the mother named Varda as witness to the marriage, and it was one of the rare times that the name of Eru Ilúvatar was spoken.Then the Couple gave back the silver rings they gave each other in betrothal and the rings were treasured forever,then they gave gold rings to each other which were worn on the index finger of the right hand. Noldor had additional ritual for this feast (though it wasn't bound to the feast, it could also happen before the actual marriage ): The bride's mother gave the bridegroom a jewel on a chain, and the father of the bridegroom did the same to the bride. In Times of Trouble however these rites could be skipped and they would simply speak the blessings and give each other Lore Names. Elves married for life and death and so marriage couldn't be parted by death, as they knew that one day they would be reunited with their partner in Aman, even if it took millennia. This fact was known to all Amanyar and learned by the Sindar and Silvans of the Westlands, although some Elves in more distant parts of Middle-earth did not necessarily know about this. Divorces were very rare as were second marriages and both had to include the official consent of both Husband and spouse and their families (the only recorded divorce and second marriage was the one of Finwë Ñoldóran and his first wife Míriel Serindë and second wife Indis the Fair).

These Elvish marriage customs had great influence on the customs of the Edain and later Númenóreans and Dúnedain, which in turn influenced the customs of the tribes of middle and lesser men who lived within or near the former númenórean domains.

Elven Terms for Wedding or Marriage:

Elven Terms for Bride and Bridegroom:

  • Sindarin: Daer (m), Dî (f), Dineth (f), Dîs (f)
  • Quenya: Indis (f), Ender (m)

Dwarves[]

The Dwarves marriage customs were different from other peoples. Marriages were a largely private matter of only the closest kinsmen of the clan, they were rarely held in public.Dwarven-women married at an age between their 40th and 100th year of life, dwarf-men rarely earlier than at an age of 100. There was no clergy and no religious ceremony attending a marriage, but blessings by the bride's father or the Clan-Elders were common, as were witnesses. Dwarves were monogamous and married for life, divorces were rare and a great pain for the entire clan.

However, Dwarves were possessive and jealous and not all women chose to marry, especially if they desired a husband who was unachievable or if they preferred to dedicate their life to their work, art and craft instead of children and family. Dwarf men also may dedicate their life to craft to the point that they do not have time for family, or simply do not desire wives. Remaining unmarried was so common that it was a partial factor of the decline of the Dwarves in later Ages, as ever fewer of their kind were born. There were also instances of marriage between two Dwarves of the same sex, such as in the case of Mekhnet and Lúka.

Hobbits[]

Hobbits were allowed to marry when they were out of their Tweens, although it was common to wait two or three years after formal engagement. Hobbit Marriages were great feasts of the entire family clans, there were no formal priests or religious ceremonies other than mundane blessings and speeches held by the clan heads or elders, but usually Hobbit marriages were accompanied by an amount of bureaucratic efforts, as professional Lawyers were paid by the clans to state the official matrimonial agreements as well as testaments and inheritance and succession formalities. Hobbits were monogamous and married for life, divorces were very rare and virtually unknown. Many Hobbits did not remarry if their spouse died before their time, often because they believed that their spouse had been their one true love.

Númenóreans or Dúnedain[]

Númenórean Nobles married late,often Bride and Bridegroom were already beyond their 100th year of life.Marriages were held as public ceremonies of the entire home and neighbourhood, often the entire town and for the upper classes even the entire city.There were no official Priests but witnesses and a blessing by the bride's father were customary.

In later Ages the Elendili and Aruwanai descendants of the Númenóreans eased the old tradition, as their lifespans reduced, but it was still uncommon for a young woman to marry at an age younger than 30, while the husband often was 20-30 years older than his wife.The Numenoreans were monogamous and married for life, divorces were avoided and virtually illegal, instead partners chose to live separated lives if the marriage proved unhappy. The traditional numenorean custom required formal agreement of both, bridegroom and bride for a marriage, but under Black Númenorean law the tradition could change, and a young woman could virtually be forced to take a husband against her own will.

Many Dúnedain did not marry if their spouse died. Unlike Elves, their fate did not mean they would be reunited with their first spouse in Aman, but this was still a very strong custom. Túrin I of Gondor was noted as being very unusual for marrying twice, and one of the primary factors appeared to be that he had no sons from his first wife. This was influenced by the more "Elf-like" ways of the Dúnedain as well as their strong notions of true love.

Among the Black Númenóreans, these practices were different. While most were officially monagomous, formal divorce was somewhat more common. What was more prevalent was the issue of keeping concubines, typically women not of Númenórean blood. The children of these unions were regarded as somewhat legitimate and had a place (if lesser) in respectable society, but were not entitled to the wealth, estates and titles of their fathers. One Umbarean civic law stated that the rights of the Dunedain went to those with a Dunadan mother, as a man would almost never allow his daughter to marry outside her caste, but would take any woman he pleased as concubine. The Bellakaze of Bellakar were known to have their origins with Númenórean venturers taking Bellanarûd women as concubines during the Second Age.

Númenóreans and the later Dúnedain did not marry first cousins or closer relatives, similar to the Elves, though second cousins or perhaps first cousins once removed were permissable. This was later disregarded by the Black Númenóreans, due to the new precedent of the marriage of Ar-Pharazôn and Zimraphel. In blood purist families, marriage between uncle and niece or aunt and nephew was even practiced to preserve the purity of blood. The most extreme devotees of the Shadow sometimes allowed marriages between siblings, as Khôrahil married Khôraphil.

Northmen[]

Northmen married early in their youth, although the Bridegrooms often were drastically older than their youthful brides.The Rohirrim however, and other Northron Groups influenced by the Dúnedain, grew accustomed to the marriage customs of their Gondorian and Northern Dúnedain allies and often married their daughters at an older age, often in their mid-twenties, their bridegrooms often being already in their early thirties. Marriages usually were ceremonies of the household presided over by the male head of the bride's clan, there was no official priestly caste to perform the rites but Elders or Seeresses were often asked to speak blessings or bring sacrifices.

Easterlings and Haradrim[]

The Men of Darkness had many different and varying customs among their numerous tribes and cultures.Most Peoples were patriarchal but among some of the older or more archaic tribes matriarchal or matrilinear traditions had prevailed. Polygamy was common, especially among the more wealthy classes.Ceremonies could be performed by family or Clan Chieftains , Sages or shamanic leaders and Priests.

Variags[]

The Variags of Khand had marriage customs that were baffling to many outsiders. It was common to simply have "ceremonial marriages" among the highborn, and typically the King was ritually married to the High Priestess, or sometimes the High Priestess and all men of a certain generation of the royal family. Sometimes these unions involved procreation, other times they did not. Gondorian observers stated that there was "no true marriage" among the Variags.

Daen[]

Daen had many distinct marriage customs, however many had in common that it was custom for the bridegrooms father to ask the brides father for the hand of his daughter on behalf of his son, even if the to be married couple was already deemed adult, and that Daen marriages were often held on the date of greater festivities, which often led to annual mass-marriages in the greater settlements.Springfestivals such as Reping were often favoured as times for marriage.marriage blessings and offerings to the tribal spirits and ancestors were common and often performed either by the heads of the clans or families, chiefs, wisewomen or seers.

Drûghu[]

Drúadan weddings were considered odd by outsiders.The rite was performed in the smallest circle and it was considered taboo for the couples fathers to take part. Instead they used to send their best friends as substitutes. It also was common to send strangers (persons who were not part of the clan) out for mock-assignments such as "collecting sacred wedding pebbles", "catch a sacred wedding fish" or "tickle the sacred wedding goat". The ceremonies however were good-natured, merry and joyful events filled with joking and laughing, which were deemed good omens and blessings for the couples future life.

Snowmen[]

Marriages were rare occasions for snow-man clans to gather and hold happy feasts.The bride couple was clad in white furs and adorned with white flowers (often snowdrops) and invitations were sent to even far removed relatives.Blessings and sacrifices to the spirits were common and usually carried out by the tribal-chiefs or heads of the local great families.Favoured times to hold marriages was Winter Solstice or the height of Spring.

References[]

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